DISCLAIMER: This is •my• open letter. You, of course, are entitled to your own.
While not all singles desire to be married, all singles should desire to be whole. While not all singles will get married, all singles should constantly strive for enhancement, development, and refinement.
What is written below is a conglomeration of that which has been poured into me over the course of my lifetime at home and abroad as a single woman. I have gleaned well and I am grateful for all of the seeds that have been sown. I am yet learning.
Shalom, Kings & Queens. Shalom.
It is a joy to address you today. Perhaps I can have a moment of your time.
While you are preparing for your most intelligent choice, I’d like to share a few items that you may find beneficial.
Instead of asking, “Why are you still single?”, consider asking, “How are you stewarding your time as a single?”
Believe for pure motives and pure agendas. If their motives and agendas aren’t pure, that which manifests will be impure.
Hope for a husband/wife who stewards his/her time, talent, and treasures well.
Believe for a partner who works diligently to sharpen their intellect and studies constantly. They should be teachable; they should teach.
If you are more mesmerized by their physical aesthetics than their vision, beware.
If you have shared a bed before you have shared a meal, beware.
If he has not even opened a door for you, but you have opened your legs for him, beware.
If they are legalistic, judgmental, and disrespectful to others, consider that disposition and mindset being poured out and carried on throughout your bloodline and lineage. And then think again.
If they have no positive older male role models or mentors, beware.
If they have no positive older female role models or mentors, beware.
If you’re considering choosing her based off of what she brings to the table, let your primary focus lean here: pray that she brings respect, peace, and honor. With those qualities, you will never be in lack.
If you have not seen them when they are furious, angry, or offended, wait a bit longer before you say “I do.”
If you have not observed their behavior, habits, and mannerisms during all four seasons, don’t be so hasty down the aisle.
If they only praise you privately, beware.
If they are devastated (and remain devastated) after material possessions are broken, destroyed, or lost, beware.
If you hate correction, you are not wise. If they hate correction, they are not wise.
Pray, hope, and believe that they have a heart that is turned toward Christ, fully.
Pray that their hands are generous as they serve and give “as unto the Lord.”
Do your prayers reach Heaven? Do theirs?
Do you have any hobbies? Do they?
Are you/they flexible?
Are you honest? Are they?
Do you have road rage? Do they?
Do you read? Do they?
Ask them about their relationship with their father.
Ask them about their relationship with their mother.
How are your relationships with your parents?
Read over the marriage vows and consider that the “in sickness and in health” part could potentially mean more than a cold or cancer. It could mean mental illness as well. Consider that.
Do you have the grace to love them if the worst part about them never changes?
Read over the marriage vows again and evaluate yourself and your character.
Pray that she does not fall prey to those who praise her while you are silent.
Pray that she does not succumb to the attractive distraction of adoration from those who are not destined to be her covenant partner.
Hope for a wife that does not find difficulty supporting and celebrating other women.
Believe for a wife that does not find difficulty supporting and celebrating other women.
Pray for a wife that does not find difficulty supporting and celebrating other women.
A petty and catty girlfriend breeds a petty and catty wife.
Hope, believe, and pray for a wife that is not insecure.
Hope, believe, and pray for a husband that is not insecure.
You must not be intimidated by her and she must not be intimidated by you.
Pray that you/they are not frivolous with their funds, but are fiscally responsible.
Hope that you/they know how to save and prepare for the future.
Pray that he/she arrives to you healed and whole. May you not bear the brunt of his/her past hurts.
If they are not focused on improving their health, beware.
How do you/they treat those who the world defines as poor?
How do you/they demonstrate compassion?
What angers you? What excites you? What hurts you?
Do close friends and family think that you’re humble or arrogant?
If you do not receive the praise/recognition that you feel is due, how do you manage that? How do they manage that?
And if you are taking your sweet time to make the most important selection of your entire life (post-Christ), hope and pray that she has not already been selected by someone else due to your sluggish ways. Yes, strategy is critical, but responsible stewardship is King.
Gentle reminder for the gentlemen: There are 7.5 billion humans on the planet right now. They possess a variety of hues, textures, and qualities. “Think it not strange” if she opts for a hue, texture, or quality that may appear non-traditional, uncommon, or unexpected. Your pedigree, resume, and background may be no match for someone with a humble attitude who simply sees what he wants and goes for it.
It may just be a matter of who says, “hello” first.
Timing is not everything, but it is so very close to being everything.
Finally, read Proverbs 7. Seven is the number of COMPLETION, if you are a Proverbs 7 man, beware. If you are a Proverbs 7 woman, beware.
A Proverbs 7 man/woman can COMPLETELY mess up your entire life. And by all means, read the first part of Proverbs 31. It is not all about the woman.
Karissa Denae “Johnson”
P. S. Dad once said that it makes no sense to be miserable while dating someone. It’s foolish to be miserable while dating. If it’s beyond repair while you’re dating, RUN! Get out! Enjoy your (single) freedom. Don’t forget to laugh often and love on everyone well! Steward this time. It’s a treasure! 💋
💌 Ciao for now! 💋 #AlwaysAstudent